An idol is something or someone we put before God. And it’s so hard to not put a person you love before God!

I am currently dating an amazing godly man and it’s so hard to keep God first. While I am still struggling with that, I have found ways to help myself put God first and not my boyfriend.

Here are 5 tips to not idolize your loved one:

1. Submit to God’s will

Be submitted to His will in everything. For me it means actually telling God that I want His will to be done for our relationship. And the closer I get to my boyfriend the harder it is to tell God that I will submit to whatever His will is for us.

This also means seeking God’s will in all the little and big decisions you are making together with your loved one. When both of you are submitted to His will then it’s easier to not become an idol to each other.

2. Spend time with God

In order for you to put God first you need to be a in a relationship with Him. When you feel like you know your loved one much better than God then you tend to drift away from God.

So if you spend plenty of quality time with your loved one getting to know them, then you should also be spending plenty of quality time getting to know God.

3. Give thanks to God for your loved one

Instead of worshiping them, worship the One who gave you him or her and who made him or her the way they are.

Instead of worshiping your loved one worship the One who is love.

My boyfriend often says that what really helps him not to idolize me is to thank God for me and things he likes in me instead worshiping me without giving credit to God. And it works the same way for me.

When I thank God for bringing my boyfriend into my life then I am focusing on Him and worshiping Him for how good He is to me to give me such a godly loving man.

4. Find your primary fulfillment in Christ

I still struggle with that one, but I am getting better with each day. Sometimes it’s just hard for me to be away from my boyfriend and I almost like I need him to fulfill me.

And then some time ago my boyfriend gently reminded me that I should find my primary fulfillment in Christ.

So I started to have longer quiet times and I started to just be intentional about delighting in the Lord. And it did help me to get my fulfillment from Him and not my boyfriend. Spending time delighting in the Lord daily gives me the fulfillment my soul craves, that was never meant to be fulfilled by another human being.

5. Know Whose you are

I sometimes have to remind myself that I am His and that my identity is found in Christ and not in my boyfriend.

I also have to remind myself that even if it’s not God’s will for us to be together, I will be just fine without him. Sure, it will be hard. But, I will still be God’s daughter that is loved, valued, and fully accepted.

I have to preach to myself that no matter what happens and no matter what God’s will is for us, my identity is rooted in Christ and nobody will be able to ever separate me from His unconditional love and acceptance.

And when I remind myself of those truths it’s much easier to not put my identity in my boyfriend.


Written By: Kristina Piatachenko. This article was originally published at www.forhisjoy.com. Used with permission.