A CONFESSION OF SALVATION
Each time I am asked: “When did you accept Jesus?” or “When is your ‘spiritual birthday’?” I can’t help but let out a suppressed laugh or a smirk simply because, honestly, I couldn’t remember or perhaps, I wasn’t even aware at all.
“The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.
So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
Yes, I might have made myself believe for so many years that I was saved by reciting a sinner’s prayer in a Daily Vacation Bible School (DVBS) back when I was 11 or 12…or 13. I also thought back then that since I grew up in the church, with a Christian family, I was already saved. But our DVBS teacher said that we have to accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior for us to be saved. So I prayed – a prayer I had always thought to be my ticket to heaven. I was so happy and proud of my choice in following Jesus and taking part in the ministry. And so, I remembered that special date and declared it to whoever asked when my ‘spiritual birthday’ was.
I devoted myself to the music ministry and to various church activities. Home. School. Church: this has become my life cycle. I tried tambourine dancing, kids’ choir, singing with the back-up vocals, and eventually, worship leading. I was a hyped church kid. Whew!
But here’s a confession. While putting my hands on these ministries, I wasn’t really sure if I was saved then, or if I was truly a Christian. Had I been converted? All I knew was that I was enjoying the company of Christians and I always wanted to keep myself busy inside the church. Nevertheless, I believe all these were a part of God’s work in my life.
Through the years, God let me grow in faith and introduced Himself to me through bible studies, Sunday sermons, and even in youth camps. I also remember how I kept a notebook of my daily devotions just to comply with the advice of our ministry leader. As I know more about this God, this Jesus, this salvation, the more I realize that I was just making things up and that I was living a life of pretense.
Though I couldn’t point out the exact moments when God spoke and revealed Himself to me, I know for sure it was His Spirit that blew like a wind and captured my heart. He let me pray a prayer of submission, a prayer of surrender, a prayer of life offering, for so many times—I couldn’t count them. There was an encounter in a big camp (where I myself was assigned as a councilor, not knowing that even I myself needed a counselling); other encounters during worship service, prayer meetings, or in my quiet time with the Lord.
I know that these moments were part of my regeneration. These are all part of me being ‘born again’. He has chosen me, and called me.
I remember an anecdote told by John Piper. After a worship service in their church, one member approached him and asked “How will I know if I am truly saved? How will I know if all that I prayed in that altar was real?” And Piper simply said, “let the following days prove it”.
Perseverance proves our election and regeneration—God’s salvation. As I grew deeper in Christ, His power allows me to persevere in His Word and in Christ’s ministries. God’s purpose for me as a worship leader, and being a part of the church, becomes clearer over time. His purpose keeps me going. His Word lets me renew my mind day after day. His love fuels my commitment to love Him and others as well. His grace sustains and reminds me of the hope we have in Him…and that would always pull me toward Him and guide my feet to always follow Him.
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Moon Danipog is a woman with many interests and passion. She is a worship leader, blogger/writer, occasional dancer, public servant, performing arts enthusiast, part-time entrepreneur, budding social worker, and animal lover. She often dreams to be an eagle or a windmill.