I am a Christian Muslim woman.  There is no other way to say it.  It is difficult to describe what it’s like.

Believing Jesus is dangerous for many of us in the Middle East.

I am a believer but if you were to meet me and follow me around for a day you probably wouldn’t know it.  I go to the mosque with my family. I pray five times a day.  I utter words only Muslims use.  But these rituals mean nothing to me now that I know Christ.

I came to know Jesus through a radio broadcast.  As a Muslim, I heard a lot about Christians but never understood what they believed.  I have always thought of myself as an enlightened person so listening to the radio show was supposed to merely provide education.

The speaker shared about God pursuing us through Jesus and about the free gift of salvation. I tried to rationally process these ideas and look for how these Christians had it all wrong.  But the more I tried, the harder it became.  Something was drawing me to this story of Jesus.  Free forgiveness!  I could not believe it.  Everything I ever learned about God told me that a price had to be paid to earn paradise.  But that night I understood that Jesus paid the price for me.

I continued to listen to these broadcasts and wrestle with questions.  Then one day, with sudden clarity, I sensed the power of Jesus and of true freedom.  I’ll never forget the moment I gave my life to Jesus.  On my knees beside the kitchen table, I surrendered to His incredible gift.

It was painful for me not to tell anyone about this important moment but it is not custom here for a woman to make a decision without the approval of her husband.  It has been three years and it is hard.  I constantly pray for my husband – in fact, I love our five daily prayer times more than I used to because I can talk to Jesus freely about my family.  My husband does not understand this person of Jesus or the gift of forgiveness, yet.

This gift of Life was free but the Relationship comes with a cost.  I am a Christian with a Muslim home.  This is my price for following Christ.