These were some of the things that I personally experienced when I was in my early twenties. I was hopeless, depressed and suicidal. I was happy when I am out with my friends, but lonely when I was alone in my room. I was jolly when I am at work, but in reality, I was suffering deep depression. I was full of energy and was the life of the party, but in secret I was entertaining suicidal thoughts. That is how low I was.

You might be surprised by my confession, but these are the things of my past.

One of my greatest fear in life was to die, since I did not have the assurance of where I was going if ever I do die. I knew that heaven and hell existed, but I was clueless of where was I destined to go. This scared me.

Then I met a friend who reached out to me and helped me get out of this miserable situation. I even asked her, “Why are you so good to me?” She was one of the few people who genuinely showed concern for me. She started to share to me about the love of God, how God love me so much that He was willing to sacrifice His only Son, Jesus, for me to be forgiven and to have a place in heaven with Him.

That was the first time I ever heard of the story of Jesus presented that way. I then realized that God was more interested in having a relationship with me rather than my being religious.

I surrendered and committed my life to Christ that day, and my life was transformed. From being a hopeless, depressed and suicidal person I began to change.

I began to live with a renewed sense of HOPE.

I now know that His plan is to prosper me and not to harm me and to give me hope and a brighter future.

I began to live with tremendous and overflowing JOY.

I now know that the joy of my life must come from God, not from applause and acceptance of people; knowing that He will never leave me or abandon me; knowing that He will guide, protect and provide for me; knowing that God holds my future in His hands.

I began to live with fullness of LIFE.

I now know that God wants to give me life and to live it the fullest, so that I can also share the life of abundance to others who need it.

He wants to bless me with so much so that I can become a blessing to others.

Now I have a mission, I have a calling and I have a purpose.

I travel around the country and the other parts of the world to share the Good News, which I had received from a friend long time ago and changed my life.

Now it is time to pay it forward.


Chinkee Tan is a motivational speaker and best-selling author of 5 books on finances and positive lifestyle, recognized by no other than Philippine President Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino for writing a financial book for Filipinos.