“Fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person.”
It was a joyfully painful night in June 5, 2013, when my life was turned around 180 degrees. I finally had the courage to break off a yoke that bound me for years. Days prior, I kept hearing a voice say, “obey,” even if there was no one around.
I didn’t know what it meant, and it didn’t make sense. In my heart and in my mind, everything was perfect. But as I looked deeper, I knew that I had to heed. See, in the recesses of heart was a piece of me that was bound in the chains of compromise and sin. No matter where I went or talked to, I could not find the comfort that I needed.
But each time I would close the doors of my room, and as I cry out, I would keep hearing that voice from within me – that voice that would not relent in telling me to “obey.”
I got down on my knees to pray that night and tears were flowing endlessly. I asked, “If that guy is not for me, then why did this relationship seem like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Why did it have to be so precious?” Later on, as I read a book entitled “When God Writes Your Love Story” I was comforted by what it said: “You are blessed when you’ve been stripped off that which is most precious to you. Because only then can you be tenderly embraced by the One Most Precious to you.”
The moment I read those lines, my emotions immediately shifted from being heart-broken to being in-love. That familiar voice was telling me now “I love you.. and I want you to start again. You have been giving away pieces of your heart without My consent. I was the One who made it and I am deeply hurt seeing your precious heart being shattered and broken to pieces. Let me fix it for you, my princess.”
I cried even harder as I realized that the familiar voice was His voice, which I have been ignoring for so long. It was JESUS speaking to me.
That very night, I opened and surrendered my heart to Him. I asked for forgiveness for the betraying Him in so many ways. But even then, He said, “You have been forgiven – long ago when I died on the cross”.
As I had let go of my “happiness,” I found joy. God truly works in our weaknesses to get our attention. In my case, He worked through my emotions. He gave me a precious gem and asked me to give it up. The pain in my heart was too profound that only Jesus could make me whole and new again.
God is our best – in love and in everything else. We just need to humble ourselves and learn to let go of the things we’ve been holding on to, and allow Him
“When I found him whom my soul loves; I held on to him and would not let him go” Song of Solomon 3:4
*Patricia is a pseudonym as requested by the author