HAPPY EVER AFTER
Let me tell you a story about how I met the love of my life.
2013 wasn’t the easiest of times for me. Life revolved around work. I worked non-stop that I hardly had time to spend with my family and friends.
I felt so exhausted. One Sunday afternoon, my friend asked me over the phone how I was. I honestly didn’t know where my life was headed. I felt so lost. The fact that I knew I was blessed with a job with an amazing team, a family, a car and so many more things made it all the more difficult for me to understand why I was still feeling so hopeless. I felt so ungrateful.
At that time, I was also in an on again-off again relationship for almost 10 years. That year, we started getting to know each other again and we were really hopeful that it would work out.
Then one night, I discovered through social media that he had a girlfriend.
At first I thought it was just part of our on-and-off pattern, that he would eventually break up with her to be with me. But this time, something was different. He couldn’t let her go. And worse, I couldn’t let him go either. I’d convinced myself that this was just more confirmation that he was the love of my life, and that I was his. I started making myself very much available to him. The little time I’d spend outside my almost 24/7 job was to be with him.
Some late nights, I would go to his house and stay over. Sometimes, I’d pass by in the early morning before going to work. I’d convinced myself that this was normal. It was okay because he was the love of my life. But being available for sex and being the only one he said he could have a real conversation with just wasn’t enough for him to break up with her.
Remember that phone conversation with a friend? That was the very same week that changed everything. I needed a reason for me to do something outside work, so I signed up for a retreat. I needed something that would take my mind off my pseudo relationship. Little did I know that I would find something more.
During the retreat, I remember seeing people with Bible apps and thinking, “How could you reduce the Holy Bible to an app?!” I remember my group mates at the retreat talking about certain “Bible studies” and “discipleship group”. I remember thinking to myself, “What the heck are those? Oh you guys meet once a week? Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.”
But God will really speak to you and reach out to you in a way that’s unique to you.
To me, at first it was music. One of the songs they sang during the retreat was Falling Slowly, one of my favorites. I had never heard it sung as a Christian song, but there it was. Spot on. Every lyric made sense. Needless to say, I was caught from then moving forward.
Being religious before and growing up in a very religious school, I thought I had already made the decision of having God in my life. But I realized all the things I knew about Him was all in my head. It took 30 years for that same knowledge to travel all the way down to my heart and to my whole being. I didn’t know that having a personal relationship with God was possible. And necessary.
As the days went by, I realized that God just wanted that one thing – to be in a relationship with me. And for lack of a better term, I had put Jesus in the friend zone. I had locked my doors to Him, but all this time He was just outside the door. Knocking every now and then. Just waiting patiently.
During the retreat, I easily surrendered my work, my family, and asked God to please help me in those areas. But I couldn’t surrender completely because I knew that if I did, God would ask me to let the guy go. And I didn’t know how. I knew that I couldn’t. But I remember at the very last message, just taking that leap in saying
“Alright God, I don’t know how You’re going to do it. But do it. I am yours.”
On August 25, 2013, I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. And it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
That very same week of accepting Jesus, I was able to resist Mr. Pseudo Relationship. I was able to just be friends with him and even share with him my faith.
At work, while my workload didn’t magically lighten, my perspective did. I suddenly had time to go to one of those bible studies and Friday singles’ gatherings. Hungry for more of this newfound love, I eventually started attending more church gatherings. By God’s grace, I got moved to a new position at work, a position where I was able to really take care of my teammates, and make sure that they didn’t go through the same thing I did. In fact, after just one year in my new role, I even got promoted.
By God’s grace alone, I started serving in the Music Ministry. I served as a prompter or back up vocals, which I absolutely loved. Behind the scenes, below the radar, in the background. That’s where I was comfortable. But God, of course, had other plans. In spite of my shyness and to a point, low self esteem, He eventually called on me to become a worship leader.
My ministry even expanded to another satellite and wherever God calls me to. Every single time I’m in front and leading, I know it is God’s grace made perfect in my weakness. Then just recently, God has allowed me to start my own discipleship group, where I have the privilege to help, guide and support young ladies in their walk with God, yet another new adventure I am excited to embark on with Him. Plus, I also read my Bible app everyday now.
It’s true that when you delight in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. Oftentimes, not the current desires of your heart, but He will put in you what He wants you to desire. I’m blessed to be going through all this with my best friend at my side. And again, by God’s grace alone, and at His perfect timing, He has allowed me to meet someone He has been preparing for me, someone who is first and foremost after God’s heart. Needless to say, someone who is an answered prayer to my hopeless romantic little heart.
This is my love story.
I thought it started two years ago, but in reality, it started way before I was born. Psalm 139 says, “You knit me together in my mother’s womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. I can’t even count them. They outnumber the grains of sand.”
So this is how I met the real love of my life: Jesus Christ. And I know for a fact that we will indeed live happily ever after.