I grew up in church. Literally, I was in church all the time. Whole day Sunday, half day Saturday, Friday youth groups, Wednesday bible studies. I was a religious devout Christian. I knew how to talk like a Christian, walk like a Christian and do everything a Christian does.

But in spite of all the Christian vibe that I exuded, deep inside I was struggling. Struggling with pride, lust, insecurity. In short, I was like everybody else.

My pastor told me that there needs to be a distinction and so I played the part externally but I was falling apart inside. I knew all the verses, I was the Bible ambassador of our school, I was “big brother” Dennis – the man you can trust.  It was different when I was alone in my room. I had skeletons in my closet. Nobody knew because I tried hard to conceal it. But God knew and I am grateful.

He sent some radical Christians in the persons of other Pastors and my bible teacher. They got in my face and could smell a pretender from a far. I couldn’t hide the fact that I was struggling with this Lordship stuff. You see, it’s easy to play the game of Christianity. Speak some Christian language, wear a Christian shirt, close your eyes during worship and get involved in ministry but I don’t know how long I could put up an act.

When I started seeing other Christians living out their faith – something was ignited in me. I needed it, too, but I didn’t. Their was a fire in them that I longed for and I knew the only way to get it was to surrender. To humble myself and repent. To acknowledge that apart from Christ I am nothing. That Christianity is not performing but living out the faith. God has given us the Holy Spirit to live holy lives. Christ died to set me free. I knew all this.

All I needed to do was surrender and let Jesus take control. Sounds easy right? But it was impossible until you come to a point of desperation. It will be a crossroad. Choose to act godly externally or choose to be transformed from the inside out.

I am glad that with all the seeds of the Bible, discipleship and experiences I had with the Lord, He gave me the power to choose Lordship.

It reminds me of Joshua when he said,

“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:15

We have a choice. We decide. Choose to make Jesus lord of all or not at all.

 

Writer’s Bio:
Dennis Sy is the Senior Pastor at Victory Christian Fellowship Greenhills. He has written two books: 
SYNC: How to Know God’s Will for your Life and Rich for Life: Secrets of Those Who Stayed Rich for Life and How You Can be One.