“Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow, though they are red as crimson, they shall be white as wool” – Isaiah 1:18

Can I be pure again? This question haunted me since the day I came to realize how lost and impure I was.

Those who know me now would not believe the things I did in my past. On the surface, I have this image of being a good girl, daughter, sister, grandchild, and even a role model for the younger generation. But inside, guilt dwelt in my heart for I know that I was the opposite of what others perceive.

I had several relationships in the past and was physically intimate with my boyfriends. Deep down, I knew it was wrong and my only solace afterwards was to cry myself to sleep. Tears, of course, did not erase or alleviate the guilt. Somehow, I would still find myself longing for the intimacy – perhaps because there was a void that I was trying to fill. Getting to the root of this void, love was something scarce in my life because I came from a broken family; this led me to try and find love elsewhere. This kind of life continued on till my second year in College.

Having been instructed by my uncle to take up Electronics and Communication Engineering, I was obliged to focus on my studies—pushing myself to the point to being competitive. But in spite of all the hard work, I failed my Physics class. Strangely, I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, I wanted to quit the course. I felt that there was something else for me to do but thinking of my family, I considered pressing on.

Heartbroken, I prayed – although I didn’t really know God. I prayed earnestly, not knowing if He will listen or even answer. But as soon as I opened up to God, a sense of peace came over me with the resolution to shift courses and take up a BS Business Administration Course, Major in Marketing Management . It was then that I remembered that this was my childhood dream and I had totally forgotten this purpose due to having it my way for all of my life. Having this newly found affirmation from the Lord, I knew that He who would help me fulfill this dream.

The LORD moves in ways beyond our understanding. In this new course, I came across a classmate who was a bully. She sat next to me, taunted and made fun of my surname, and that made her memorable in an irritating way.

However, months passed by and our professor divided the class into groups. Lo and behold, I was placed in the same group as her. It was an undesirable assignment that I had to endure. But as I got to know the group, we became friends and they eventually invited me to join their “care group.” Having been isolated for a long time, I decided to try it out. It was during one of their Sunday services that Jesus spoke to me and opened my heart.

For the first time, I truly felt His love, His embrace. I knew right then and there that He was the ONE I had been seeking. The ONE who can truly fill the void in my heart. He gave me the desire to repent and turn my life to Him, my Lord and my Savior. It was then that He welcomed me into His family.

And because of this love, He even wiped away the guilt that had been eating at my conscience for years: the shame of violating my body in search for love and acceptance. Isaiah 1:18 says:
“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.

And this is all by His grace – nothing more, nothing less. I did not do anything to deserve or earn it. It was given freely because of God’s love.

Its been said that there is beauty in ashes. Indeed there is! Because it is in our ashes and crimson state that God is able to display His power and majesty to clean us and make us white as snow.

So can I be pure again? Yes! God made me so. And He will do the same for you if you accept His gift of salvation. He makes all things new and He wants to do the same in your life.