The kind of education I was exposed to in high school was the kind I have always been so proud of. I was so eager and enthusiastic to tell people that it was different – not only because the curriculum was unconventional, but because it had the Christian foundation that helped form my character. It’s funny to recall that during my freshman year in college, I always took time to share my “unique education story.”
Thinking that my high school experience was my one and only chance of training myself for all my spiritual endeavors in the future, I tried to “fully” equip myself before graduating. True enough, I was exposed to more temptations and more tests for my faith in college. But I was mistaken to think that I was alone against the world, when God was knocking on my door to remind me that He was always there to help me.
It was terrible because I began belittling others just because they didn’t get the privilege I had. I became self-righteous. So self-righteous that I disappointed my family, and even broke off some relationships I had. I always said that I needed to have a good testimony. But I only mouthed those words. It took a while for me to realize that I have not been really practicing what I preached. Yes, it was good that I was holding on to what I believed in dearly, but little did I know that being strictly close-minded on things only drew people away instead of being able to share God’s goodness.
It was not a coincidence that God placed me in a University where their values education was deeply embedded in the campus’ culture. My principles were enhanced in a way that it helped me explain and understand things profoundly. It was there where I was given the opportunity to learn to give things more meaning, connect concepts and not compartmentalize, and become more aware of God’s greatness. I was able to push myself to choose what was upright, and most importantly in discerning what was true. I wasn’t prepared for the real world when I thought I was; I realized that college was just my training ground.
Even though the kind of education I was receiving for a long time helped me become zealous for the common good, history kept on repeating itself. There were times where I got even more self-righteous than ever. Worse, I think I was at some point deserving to be called a Pharisee. I was so scared to disappoint my God, and for a moment I thought that if I couldn’t practice what I preached then better yet to say nothing good at all. But I knew deep inside that it was wrong to resolve it like that, and it would only disappoint Him even more.
So does having good Christian education help? Yes, but that was never the issue. It was how I struggled in refraining from becoming more self-reliant whenever I resolved problems. It was how I struggled to make people see God’s love in me. This, I believe, gave Him more reasons to place me in difficult situations, such as how my friendships were tested and how some even failed. Yes, it was painful a lot of times. But continual transformation through suffering was how He worked in my life. It was God’s way of making me stronger and more humble. Putting my entire trust on Him was what I knew I had to do.
I know that challenges will always come. Though everyday is a new experience, it is a continuous battle for my faith. The only thing that’s keeping my foot set on the ground and that’s keeping me together is that “no one can pluck me out of my Father’s Hands.” And of course, I am glad to know that no matter what happens,
“…in all things, He works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
31 Girls is a Christian community for women where they share God’s love by aiming to be a safe place where girls can fell they’re not alone in what they are going through and that there is still joy after all the wrongs.